Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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