Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
