my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
