There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
