6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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