Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
why do cheetos always look like penises
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
