Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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