well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
