I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
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