Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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