Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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