Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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