Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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