And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
