Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
