I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
