girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
