Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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