My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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