i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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