I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
