I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
