yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
