If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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