I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
