Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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