You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
