does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize