I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
