As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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