It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
