I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Sponge bath it is.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
