ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
