Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
