So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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