There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
