imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize