I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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