Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
i need some magic done to my vagina
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
