There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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