I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize