if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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