somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
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you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
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Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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