i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize