please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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