OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
operation have a gay friend backfired
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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