ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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