singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
