my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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