guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
