I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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