i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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