You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
