I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
