I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
