Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
