My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
