Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
