it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You're earring is so big in my mouth
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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