I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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