I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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