It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
