I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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