I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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