Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize